


Learning to Grow (Together)

by LordOfThePoptarts



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flower Shop Mcree, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Language of Flowers, M/M, Mild Language, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tattoo Shop Hanzo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-11 13:33:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11149470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordOfThePoptarts/pseuds/LordOfThePoptarts
Summary: McCree is a veteran just trying to get by in his life by running a small flower shop, and trying to outrun the past that continually haunts him. All that changes when a tattoo shop opens across the street and Hanzo Shimada waltzes into his life and heart.





	Learning to Grow (Together)

**Author's Note:**

> UNBETAED. It's like so late but this monster is finished and I'm so happy. I hope you like it.

                McCree loved waking up to light pouring in his apartment window. It always woke him up right away, so he never really needed an alarm. He yawned and stretched himself out slowly and thoroughly like a cat. He oofed as his dog, Eastwood, jumped up onto the bed and directly onto his stomach. McCree grumbled out a groggy hello to the dog and scratched him behind the ears, and Eastwood wiggled and licked his face. McCree laughed and got up. He fixed himself a small breakfast of hash, sausage, eggs, potatoes, and bacon all mixed together, and threw it in a Tupperware container for him to eat as he set up the shop. He lived above his shop and the apartment wasn’t anything special, but it was spacious for downtown and allowed pets so he took what he could get.

                McCree yawned again as he made his way down the stairs and unlocked the store. His store was his pride and joy. What once was a little café that had closed down had turned into McCree’s flower shop. “The Prairie Rose.” It was quite a fixer upper when he first got it, as the café had been closed for a few years, but he had fixed it up rather nicely and was lucky that he hadn’t even had to install a cooler because the café had had one previously. The only thing he had to change really was the size of the cooler, and that was fixed relatively easily, turning the whole back room of the café into a flower arrangement workshop wonderland. He’d had the shop for a few years now and business had been good, sure he had some competition from the other flower shops in town, but his customers were loyal and almost always satisfied with his work. That was one of the different things about his shop than others, if someone was genuinely displeased with his work then he gave them a refund. It had only happened once in the whole time of his shop being around, and McCree prided himself on the excellence of his work.

                He hummed as he arranged flowers in the back for a wedding that was the next day. He had finished up the majority of the order last night with his assistant, and he was just putting the finishing touches on the last few vases. The couple had argued over flowers for an hour inside his shop before allowing McCree to interject with suggestions. He had suggested white chrysanthemums with accents of lavender heather and blue hyacinths. After seeing him take out the flowers and lay them out in a mock arrangement, the couple was convinced of his expertise and agreed to let him do what was best with the floors. The only thing that peeved McCree was that not once did most of his customers, including the couple, ask what the flowers he gave them meant. He knew it wasn’t important to everyone and he wasn’t going to start pushing it on people, but it was a disappointment to him. His mother had taught him the “language of flowers” as she put it ever since he was little and he’d been fluent ever since. The couple’s flowers for example, meant loyal love, admiration, and constancy. He sighed as he set the last piece of heather in place in the last vase. It didn’t matter now; the order was done. All he could hope was that his wishes through the flowers were conveyed somehow.

                He heard the chiming of the bell on the front door and made his way back to the front of the store.

                “Howdy there Lena, finished up the arrangement we were workin’ on last night.”

                “Oh perfect, love!” Lena said as she slid McCree his usual coffee order from the café down the street. “You see what’s happening across the street?”

                McCree furrowed his brows and followed Lena to the window, “Looks like a new shop’s going up. Good that place has been vacant for too long.” McCree shrugged and turned away from watching the workers take the boards off the windows and move furniture in. “Must’ve been workin’ on it for a while to be movin’ furniture in, guess we didn’t notice.”

                Lena nodded, “Well it is wedding season after all.”

                “That it is darlin’, that it is.” McCree replied as leant down and arranged some of the flowers in the front display case, replacing the ones that were wilting.

                “Wonder what it is though. I haven’t heard of a new place coming in.”

                “I reckon it’s not our business we’ll know whenever they open up, now won’t we.”

                Lena sighed, “I guess.”

                McCree chuckled under his breath. Lena always had been a curious one. Together they finished setting up the shop for the day and as soon as they flipped the sign to open people began to flood in. Opening was almost always the favorite part of his day. Most of the people who came in this early were regulars, or just in a really desperate situation that needed flowers to fix it. Today was one such morning. As he helped Mei, a regular, pick out what flowers would be best for her and her girlfriend, Zarya’s, anniversary. Mei was one of his favorite customers because she was one of the few who asked about a flower’s meaning, given she was a climatologist, her interest sorta made sense. Mei’s only request this time was that it compliment her girlfriends bright pink hair. McCree laughed at that but got right to work on designing a bouquet for them as the anniversary was a week away. They eventually decided on peonies, lilac, and pink tulips. Romance and prosperity, passion, and happiness. Mei seemed pleased with his selections and the meanings as always, and he wished her and Zarya luck on their anniversary. It was to be their fifth this year. McCree would be joking himself if he said he wasn’t a little jealous of what those two had. Hell, even Lena had a girlfriend, some rich French girl named Amelie, that she had apparently met when she was visiting Paris a year ago. Their relationship was long distance, but it worked for them.

                If McCree was being honest, wedding season always made him a little depressed. Seeing all those young couples in love did give him a thrill, but it also reminded him of the loneliness he suffered from. He hadn’t been on a date in five years now. That last one had been rather disastrous, with his date getting drunk out of his mind and vomiting all over McCree. Yeah, didn’t exactly make him want to pursue dating. McCree was a romantic at heart, but he was getting on in years and there wasn’t exactly a huge market of gay men in his age group. Lena always would yell at him for calling himself old, he was only thirty-seven for Christ’s sake,  but she’d always say it and he’d always laugh it off. McCree shook his head and sighed, best not to dwell on it. He looked up and smiled as the front door of his shop chimed.

                “Hi, how can I— “McCree cut himself off with a small intake of breath at the sight standing before him. The man who had just entered his shop was nothing short of gorgeous, and exactly what McCree hated to admit his type was. The man had an undercut and his hair was held up in a small ponytail. He had multiple piercings on his ears, and one on the bridge of his nose. The man was in a tank top and it was easy to see he was covered in tattoos. A large dragon billowed its way down his right arm, while a storm of raging oni covered the left. He had some on his chest too, but they were blocked by the tank top. God damn was all McCree could think, but he snapped himself out of it. He had a business to run.

                “How may I help you?” McCree started over. He was very proud of himself that he didn’t allow his voice to crack like it wanted too.

                The man smiled, “Hello. I am the owner of the shop across the street.” He pointed to the one Lena had been trying to guess all day. “Our grand opening is in two weeks. We were wondering if you could do some flower arrangements for it.”

                “Well, sure. Mind me asking what it is you guys are opening?”

                “Tattoo and piercing parlor.” The man replied obviously proud of his work.

                McCree smiled back and whistled low, “Not many of those in this town. You’ll get good business. What kind of flowers were you thinking?”

                The man and him chatted for a while about the flowers and McCree was able to pry a name out of him. Hanzo, he thought to himself, elegant name for an elegant man. Hanzo wanted Sakura flowers for the grand opening ceremony. He and his brother had come from Japan and he wanted a sense of home in his new shop. Getting the flowers could be a bit expensive, McCree warned, but Hanzo insisted, so McCree relented rather easily. McCree considered offering apple blossoms as an accent, but he knew the meaning would be all wrong. He eventually settled on lilies of the valley as the white would contrast nicely with the pink of the Sakura blossoms, and the meaning was just right. Hanzo seemed to like the idea once he showed him a sample of the lily of the valley. That settled the agreement between them. In two weeks McCree would deliver some very beautiful arrangements to a very beautiful man.

                Lena hadn’t stopped teasing him all day, after Hanzo had left. She copied his stutter and doe eyed look whenever a customer wasn’t around, and eventually McCree had had enough and exiled her to the back to work on another wedding order. He was never going to live this down. He hadn’t fawned over someone for…well he didn’t know how long, and apparently Lena was going to milk this opportunity for all it was worth. After he’d exiled Lena to the back work had gone rather quick. He’d gotten a couple more wedding orders, luckily none of them last minute, and he’d just started to haggle over the Sakura flowers, as he closed up shop. He sent Lena home as soon as the last customer left. She’d come out of the back to handle the counter while McCree haggled flowers over the phone. She hadn’t left without giving him a teasing parting wink, however, and he sighed shoving her out of the shop and telling her to save it for her girlfriend.

                McCree didn’t have good luck with gorgeous men, as in his experience, most of them were straight, or just not into him. It wasn’t much use dwelling on him now, McCree guessed. He locked up the shop and walked upstairs to his apartment. Eastwood greeted him at the door and McCree couldn’t resist giving the cutie a boop on his nose. If he couldn’t get a man at least Eastwood loved him. He popped a frozen dinner in the oven, too tired to cook today, and plopped himself down on the couch and booted up Netflix. Without even realizing it he’d put on a tattoo show, and he groaned to himself. He’d barely even talked to the man, and here he was watching a show about tattoos. Fuck his life. His food beeped and he got off the couch, but not before shutting off the TV. He supposed he could deal with his own brain for a night.

                As he ate his food and stared at the blank screen of the television, his mind wandered. He stared at his arm and the lone tattoo that sat there. Memories of worse days full of fighting and bloodshed. Deadlock had been one of the worst mistakes of his life, even though it wasn’t his choice to get involved. He’d enlisted in the military just to get out of his home state of New Mexico, and off the reservation. It’d been pretty easy at first, obviously not a dream, but better than hanging around at home waiting to die. Deadlock had picked him up pretty earlier, he’d been just a recruit, 18, when they’d gotten a hold of him. Must’ve seen something promising in his marksmanship skills. He’d been shipped out shortly after being recruited into the organization with no idea what was ahead of him. He’d been a pretty stupid kid back then and had gotten the tattoo as soon as they snatched him up, proud to be serving his country still. That was before he knew what Deadlock did for his country, what he would do for his country.

                “Fuck.” McCree whispered and settled his head between his thighs. It’d been a while since he’d had flashbacks as strong as these. His breath quickened, and it took all of his willpower and coping skills not to send himself into a panic attack.

                McCree stared down at his tattoo once again. ‘Wonder if they do coverups?’ he thought to himself.

 

                McCree practically didn’t get any sleep that night. Every time he’d doze off he’d wake to the thought of someone being in his room or to the sound of nonexistent gun shots. He barely had enough energy to give Eastwood his morning pets. God, he’d thought he was over this a long time ago. And if he slipped some whiskey in with his coffee, who was to know.

                He slouched his way down to the shop, barely keeping himself from dropping the keys. It took him five tries to slide them into the lock with how much his hands were shaking. He mindlessly cleaned the shop, pausing to yawn every couple minutes or so. Lena had exams today, so he was all by his lonesome. He really needed to think about hiring another assistant. Luckily, he didn’t have to worry about bartering for anymore flowers today, as he’d taken care of the Sakura blossoms last night. They’d arrive in about a week or so.

                His shop was dead for the first hour. He knew it’d been exactly an hour because he’d been watching the clock, as his most pressing orders were done. The bell chimed and McCree stiffened as Gabriel Reyes stalked toward the counter. Gabe had been his boss in Blackwatch, the unit he was transferred to after Deadlock.

                “What can I do ya for, boss?” McCree asked pulling up a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

                “I forgot our fucking anniversary cabrón, also you look like shit.” Gabe’s head was in his hands as he leaned heavily on the counter.

                McCree raised his eyebrows “Well thanks for the compliment as always. And what do you want me to do about it?” McCree knew he was being cheeky, but he loved riling the man up.

                “What else are you supposed to do pendejo! Make me a fucking bouquet or Jack will kill me!”

                “Alright, alright, relax. Come with me and we can see what I have in the back.”

                The two sat in silence for a while sifting through flowers, ruling out some here or there. Gabe was the one who broke the silence.

                “Are they back?” He said without even looking up.

                “Are what back?” McCree replied, sometimes it was better to play dumb.

                Gabriel just sighed and picked up another flower before setting it back down. The silence resumed. Obviously, Gabe didn’t want to play games today. The two eventually settled on purple hyacinths for saying I’m sorry, bluebells for humility, and purple geraniums for stupidity. And if McCree added some white sprigs of ivy into the bouquet without mentioning the meaning, Gabe didn’t say anything. He waved Gabe off when he took out his wallet to pay.

                “Go get your man back. Don’t use those flowers often anyway.” Gabe didn’t exactly smile at him, the man rarely did for anyone except for Jack, but McCree could tell he was grateful.

                The rest of the day was as slow as the morning, so it gave McCree plenty of time to be alone in his head, which is exactly what he didn’t need. Up until now his store had been a safe space for him. The flowers had a calming nature and he could sooth himself by working with them. But not today apparently. He took a deep breath and steadied himself against the counter. Reyes visit hadn’t helped. Instead, it just drug up the memory of what he was when he came to Blackwatch. He had been a broken thing back then, just following whatever orders were given to him. He had learned to stop thinking for himself. Deadlock had given him the name “The Undertaker” as a joke for all his drawl and bravado, but it had quickly turned into reality once they started sending him on missions. Jesse’s breath quickened and he put his head in his hands and slowly began to count. Every stutter step of a breath would cause him to start the count over again, until his breath had finally calmed. He had stopped having panic attacks at work a long time ago.

                “Are you alright?” The calmness of this new voice snapped him out of the shitty reality he’d been reliving in his head.

                He didn’t even look up to answer, “Course darlin’ I’m right as rain.”

                The new voice laughed, “I do not know how rain can look right, but I assume that is a good thing. I am here to pay you for your services.”

                Jesse looked up at that and was face to face with Hanzo, “Oh right, just give me a minute here.” He quickly ran to his office and grabbed a calculator before running back out to the front. “Now about how many arrangements did you want again?”

                “Five.” Hanzo replied staring at McCree in amusement.

                “Alright then.” McCree did some calculations on the calculator and there was silence between the two of them for a moment, “Okay does $250 sound about right. I got the Sakura blossoms pretty cheap, but they were still expensive since they have to ship them in.”

                Hanzo nodded and pulled out his wallet, handing over his credit card to McCree, “Thank you very much for doing this.”

                “Just doing my job sweet pea.” McCree replied laughing at the blush that rose on Hanzo’s cheeks.

                “Are all you American’s this…affectionate?” Hanzo asked quizzically after schooling himself.

                “Nah, just me.” Mcree’s grin was practically blinding. McCree handed back Hanzo’s card and Hanzo made to leave, but McCree stopped him with a question. “Wait. Y’all do cover ups?”

                Hanzo raised an eyebrow and made his way back over to the counter, “Yes, but it depends on the tattoo.”

                McCree rolled up his sleeve exposing his Deadlock tattoo. It was faded after all these years, but the design was still evident. A skull with an eyepatch and wings extending out from the sides, not quite touching the skull. Chains ran in an X formation through the design and the words “Deadlock Rebels, EST. 1976” were curved around the top and bottom of the tattoo in a half circle formation.

                Hanzo hummed, “It will be difficult, but we could do it, yes.”

                McCree beamed, “You have no idea how much you just made my day.”

                “What were you thinking of covering it up.” Hanzo asked smiling back.

                McCree stalled at that, “I don’t know…maybe something traditional like yours. Would it be awful to say surprise me?”

                “You would be the first to say that.” Hanzo laughed a little. “I will see what I can come up with.”

                “My thanks to ya.” McCree said tipping his ever-present Stetson. Hanzo just laughed and left the store.

                As soon as Hanzo left he banged his head on the wooden counter. Fuck, he had it bad already. Hanzo’s visit was a blessing in disguise for McCree, because the rest of the day all he could think about was Hanzo’s smile and laugh and just…Hanzo. McCree was incredibly happy Lena wasn’t there to make fun of him. He cursed himself, however, because again he couldn’t be crushing on Hanzo. He was probably straight, and he was also a customer. He really didn’t need to complicate their non-existent relationship. He locked up the store and dragged himself upstairs, his sleepless night weighing on his incredibly hard. He collapsed in his bed and slept mostly through the night, due to exhaustion, only waking up occasionally to the worst of his nightmares.

                The next week sailed by for McCree. His nightmares didn’t lessen at all, but they didn’t get any worse, so he thanked whoever was out there for looking after him. His apartment, however, was a mess, because he would return every day from the shop exhausted from dealing with people and couldn’t find the drive in himself to clean up. Dirty dishes were beginning to overflow from the sink and the apartment was beginning to from an overpowering stink of unwashed. McCree would thank god for the weekend, except he worked weekends. The Sakura blossoms arrived in the store and McCree began to set up those arrangements near the end of the week. The lilies of the valley hung delicately off the side of the vase, while the Sakura branches reached for the sky. He was rather proud of this arrangement. Even Lena agreed it was some of his finest work.

 They had just begun seeing interviews for new assistants and they had some really strong candidates. One of the strongest competitors was a non-binary kid named Bastion who was pretty much non-verbal, but damn if he wasn’t amazing at arrangements. The other was a bouncy happy kid named Lucio who wasn’t the best at arrangements, yet McCree had to remind himself yet, but he was amazing with people. In the end McCree hired both. His shop had been needing multiple assistants for the longest time, and he had just kept putting it off, because, well, interviews sucked. They were his least favorite part of running a business, but at least now he had some help so he didn’t have to be in the store as much. Maybe he could even clean up his apartment.

He did not in fact clean up his apartment and he was so incredibly stressed out. Today was the delivery of Hanzo’s order and even though it was just across the street; he really wished he didn’t have to leave the shop at all today. He’d gotten two, not one but two, last minute wedding orders and it was currently all hands-on deck in the back to get them done. Lena was managing the front for the whole day and Lucio and Bastion were in the back struggling to get the orders done. Bastion had the patience of a saint and was helping train Lucio, which included fixing a small number of the bouquets he did and showing him how to do them properly. Luckily Lucio spoke ASL and him and Bastion were able to communicate just fine. Apparently, he decided to learn it after his little brother went deaf in an accident. Either way, it was helpful as shit.

“I’m headin’ out Lena!” McCree called to the girl and tipped his Stetson.

“Come back soon alright!” Lena said smiling and turning to deal with the next customer.

McCree made his way outside and climbed into his truck. Even though it was just across the street, he didn’t want to vases to be damaged, so he loaded them into the back of his truck. The parlor already seemed to popping off as the whole block was lined with cars and people were hanging around the front smoking. McCree sighed and drove over and began to unload the vases. A few people by the door came up to see if he needed some help and he gladly accepted. He took two vases and cautiously made his way inside. The two-other people helping him introduced themselves as Sombra and Zarya. And McCree was able to excitedly talk to Zarya asking if she was Mei’s girlfriend, and she replied that yes of course she was and she had heard much about the cowboy. McCree chuckled at that. It was always nice to meet the recipients of his flowers. He had never met Mei’s girlfriend just heard her wax poetic about her.

Inside was even more hectic than outside. The walls were painted a deep red and there were pictures of each artists work above each station. The parlor was crowded and cramped and McCree was desperate to find Hanzo to show him where he wanted the flowers.

“Cowboy!” Mcree’s head shot up and he saw a shock of bright green hair making his way through the crowd to him. “You are the florist, correct?” The man’s smile was blinding, and he was covered in tattoos from his neck down.

“That’d be me.” McCree replied.

“My brother is busy with a client, but I can show you where he wanted the vases to go.” McCree just nodded and followed the man’s directions setting the vases down and taking the other one’s from Zarya and Sombra, thanking them for their help. Eventually the vases were all set up and it really added to the parlor’s eastern aesthetic. On one wall was a mural of three large dragons, two blue and one green, fighting each other. Suddenly, a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot went off, and McCree fell to the ground.

“Are you alright cowboy?” Hanzo’s brother asked staring down at McCree quizzically. McCree could feel other eyes in the room on him as well.

“Mighty fine, just got spooked is all.” McCree took a deep breath and got up trying to steady himself, “Now if you don’t mind I gotta get back to my shop, we’re a bit swamped is all.”

McCree quickly made his way to the door, passing the discarded confetti cannon on the way, and fuck, he realized he was not going to make it to his car. Quickly looking around he noticed everyone seemed to have moved inside and he shot into the alley and sank to the ground. His breathing quickened and he sunk his head into his knees and desperately tried to count. One, two, fuck what was after two. Just then another confetti cannon went off from inside, and he fell to the ground again. All he could imagine was bullets whizzing over his head and his best friend from Deadlock lying dead on the ground next to him, and he was no longer in an alley next to a dumpster but back on the battlefield. He couldn’t even focus on counting anymore all he could see was his best friend’s face and all he could hear was the gurgles from his throat as he choked on his own blood from the bullet that tore through his throat. Fuck, fuck. McCree couldn’t focus he heard his name being called, but it seemed so far away, like he was underwater. Another bullet cracked from somewhere inside. He needed to get out of here. Evac wasn’t coming, Deadlock was dissolved, his best friend was dead, his commander was nowhere to be found. Oh, god he was going to die all alone in some god forsaken desert.

“McCree!” Two hands fell on his shoulders and his first reaction was his fist coming up and punching whoever it was in the face, hard.

The body fell back onto the ground and he heard running feet and suddenly he was being lifted off the ground and a hard fist connected with his face. He heard a crack and felt his nose crunch. Blood began flow freely from the wound. That snapped him out of his nightmare.

He looked up and was staring in the angry face of Hanzo’s brother, and Hanzo was laying on the ground clutching his cheek. Zarya was helping him up.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, I didn’t—I—“

“You didn’t what!” Genji shouted, “You punched my brother in the face for no reason while you were out here freaking out like, like—Ugh!” Genji cut himself off and threw his arms up.

“Look I’m sorry I’ll give you a refund for the flowers, and pay for whatever medical bills— “

“You better! You— “

“Genji.” Hanzo was brushing off his clothes and he looked up at McCree, “We do not need a refund, and it appears the only one who needs to go to the hospital is you.”

“I— “McCree attempted to interject but Hanzo simply held up a hand.

“I was not finished. We will pay for your medical bills. It is our fault this happened. If I had known you were a veteran— “

                McCree growled, “I don’t need you to coddle me, I’m a grown man who can handle himself. Just because I’m a veteran don’t mean shit. I don’t need no pity, or your money. I got a friend who can fix this. Now if you’ll excuse me.” McCree scooped up his hat and the crowd parted to make way for him. No one followed him.

                McCree drove to Angela’s house, nose still gushing blood.  Angela was a doctor friend of his that had just recently retired to live a happy life with her girlfriend. Fareeha answered the door and he knew she would’ve normally laughed at his state, but something in his face must’ve stopped her from doing so. She called for Angela and she set his nose for him and cleaned him up, but not before lecturing him about fighting and how she thought he was done with it.

                McCree muttered, “Panicked.” And again, something in his face must’ve stopped her from continuing.

                Angela and Fareeha both gave him a hug before he left to go back to the shop. He left a crumpled twenty-dollar bill on their entry hall coat rack, even though they had both insisted he didn’t have to pay them for fixing him up. He always felt guilty if he didn’t though. McCree drove home with the radio off, which was unusual for him. He usually loved music, especially old country ballads, but tonight he just felt like stewing in the mess he created. He rolled his truck to a stop in front of the shop, and he sighed when he noticed it was already all closed up. He puttered over to the door and noticed a small note, in Lena’s handwriting, telling him to get better. There was a little drawing of a bird and frog in the corner, he assumed that was Bastion and Lucio’s contribution. He laughed a little and then sighed heavily. He was getting old and worn down.

                He trudged his way up the stairs to his apartment and almost tripped over a body that was sitting on his steps.

                “What the fuck.” McCree caught himself from falling by grabbing onto the railing. “You okay partner?”

                “I am quite alright.” Hanzo rose up to his full height and was face to face with McCree. McCree could feel Hanzo’s breath on his face.

                “Well, what’re you doing here? I understand if you wanna take back what you said earlier. I can pay or refund or whatever, I just…” McCree trailed off upon noticing Hanzo’s intense stare.

                “You are ridiculous cowboy. I came to properly apologize.”

                McCree tensed, “I don’t need no apologies. If anyone needs to apologize it’d be me.”

                Hanzo laughed a little at McCree’s false bravado, “Well, I will apologize anyway. I was not attempting to belittle you for your veteran status. I cannot begin to understand what you went through, but I should…” Hanzo paused seeming to think, “I should’ve somehow considered it.”

                “Not your fault, partner.” McCree chuckled. “Not like you could’ve known I was a fucked-up piece of shit.”

                Hanzo frowned at that, “You are not a ‘fucked up piece of shit’ you are a—“

                “Don’t go calling me a hero.” McCree cut him off. “I ain’t no hero. You have no clue what kinda shit I’ve done for this country.”

                “I would like to learn.” Hanzo said quietly. “And I wasn’t going to call you a hero. I was going to say you are a good man.”

                “Learning the kind of shit I’ve done requires a drink, and well my apartment is in a right state right now, so you might have to wait a bit on that one.”

                “Then come back with me to my place.”

                “Hanzo I…alright.” McCree’s bones felt heavy as he felt his miniscule chances with Hanzo dissolving. The man, even if he did want him, surely wouldn’t want him after he learned what McCree had done.

                The ride to Hanzo’s place was quiet, except for the fact they were riding on a motorcycle. The thrum of the engine was loud and the sounds of traffic and honking could be heard throughout the night. Hanzo’s bike was a sleek black thing with two blue dragons, just like the one’s in the mural at the shop, spiraling along the sides. McCree had let out a low whistle when he had first seen it and Hanzo had laughed. McCree was going to mourn not hearing the sound of Hanzo’s laugh anymore. He hoped Hanzo wouldn’t regret asking.

                When they arrived at Hanzo’s apartment. McCree had to sigh when he entered. It was so…Hanzo. The first thing that caught his eye was the small bonsai that was just beginning to lose its Sakura blossoms, and a small window box next to it. The window box was filled with a small variety of succulents and cacti. McCree almost wanted to coo and run over and gush about them, but he restrained himself. It was pristine and there was some art on the walls, but not much. All the walls were a delicate cream and McCree could see a hallway leading down to what he assumed was the bedroom. He noticed Hanzo had taken his shoes off, and McCree followed suit, tugging his boots off.

                “I believe you spoke about drinks?” Hanzo said and McCree turned from his spot at the door and noticed Hanzo holding two glasses.

                “I’d be mighty grateful.” McCree took his hat off and set it delicately on the counter. Hanzo poured them both a clear liquid and McCree sneakily sniffed it, definitely wasn’t vodka. He couldn’t put his finger on it.

                “It’s sake.” Hanzo replied to his unspoken question. Guess he wasn’t as sneaky as he thought.

                McCree took a sip, “That’s some good stuff.”

                Hanzo smiled, “It should be. It is imported from Japan.”

                The two sat in silence a while before Hanzo broke it, “I believe I was promised an explanation.”

                McCree took a deep breath and sighed, “When I first enlisted, well I…I was real happy to be there. I was just a kid, eighteen, and I just desperately wanted to get off reservation where I lived with my parents. I made it through basic just fine and I got picked up by a division called Deadlock. They really liked my marksmanship skills.” McCree laughed bitterly, “I was just so happy to be serving for the first couple years that I didn’t even really think of what we were doing.” He stopped and took a sip of his drink. “It was two years after we had been shipped out that I really started to notice what was wrong. We’d get orders to just go to into towns and wipe them out. Women, children, didn’t matter once our team entered no one left alive. I didn’t question it until we entered this one town and just this one lady asked me…what she did wrong and I couldn’t tell her. I began asking questions after that, and well Deadlock didn’t take too kindly to that.” He paused. “Basically, they tried to kick me out on our next mission, the Commander blew my arm off for my insolence, and left me there to die. I guess they claimed that I was shot by the enemy, that’s when Blackwatch found me.”

                “They just shot you and left you there to die, no consequences?” Hanzo interrupted.

                “Well not no consequences darlin’, just took a while. When Blackwatch found me I was almost dead, and they made sure I got medical help and a prosthetic and got me back on my feet so to speak. They’d heard about my skills from Deadlock and wanted me to join their team, but I wanted no part of it. I kinda just assumed they were just like Deadlock, you know killing for sport rather than for defense. That was how they found out what Deadlock was doing. I spilled my guts thinking they already knew, and it turns out no one did.” McCree laughed. “Those bastards got torn apart after that. Quite a few higher ups lost their jobs too. After that I joined Blackwatch, which was actual special ops, didn’t mean I didn’t do some fucked up shit with them, just meant I did fucked up shit for the right reason.” He took another sip of his drink. “I guess that’s it really. Killed a lot of people, regret most of it, and now I’m here paying my penance for it.”

                Hanzo was silent as was McCree and they both sipped their drinks. McCree finished his rather quickly and made his way toward the door. He began to put on his boots, when he felt a hand on his shoulder stop him.

                “Leaving so soon?” Hanzo asked and McCree turned to face him.

                “Figured you didn’t want me here no more.”

                “And when did I say that?”

                “Well…”

                “I didn’t did I?” Hanzo replied and McCree said nothing. “Stay, take your shoes back off and come sit with me.” McCree did as he was told.

                The two of them sat on Hanzo’s couch and stared at the blank TV screen. Hanzo inched his hand over to McCree’s and eventually took it so the two were holding hands. McCree looked down at their combined hands and then looked back up at Hanzo.

                “You sure you wanna do this sugar?” McCree said warily.

                “Yes…you have intrigued me since I first met you, and I would like to get to know you more.”

                “Like friend get to know you or…” McCree trailed off.

                “Romantic, or was I not clear enough about my intentions.”

                “I don’t know most people I go punching in the face don’t usually wanna hang around afterwards.” Hanzo laughed at that.

                “Well then let me make it extra clear for you.” Hanzo lightly pushed aside some of the hair that fell into McCree’s face and leaned in, kissing him on the lips. The kiss tasted purely of sake, and Hanzo smiled into it before pulling back. “Was that clear enough?”

                “Shit, darlin’ I don’t know. Always been a bit of a slow learner.” McCree smirked and Hanzo laughed leaning in to kiss him again.

                “You are a fool, cowboy.”

                “Yeah, but am I your fool?”

                “For as long as you want to be.”

 

                The next few weeks flew by and he spent most of them with Hanzo. Lena was the first to notice the change in him, and her suspicions were confirmed when Hanzo came into the shop to just deliver lunch to McCree and didn’t leave before giving him a goodbye kiss. If Lena wouldn’t let him live his crush on the man down, she wouldn’t let him live down the fact he was dating him. Which didn’t mean she wasn’t happy for him, she was, but she was just making fun of his insecurities. Even Lucio and Bastion wouldn’t let it go. Bastion always signed excitedly at Hanzo whenever he entered the shop, once he saw a tattoo of an intricate bird the man had he had incredibly approved of McCree’s choice, Lucio would translate for the two of them. Lucio liked Hanzo for his vast choice in music. McCree was happy his employees were able to get along with his boyfriend. He had even been able to make up with Hanzo’s brother Genji. He had swung by Hanzo’s shop to pick him up for a date and Genji had been standing by the door waiting for him. He had given him a whole lecture on if he hurt his brother he’d die, so the usual, and McCree had agreed. McCree knew they were good when Genji promised to give him a free “special” piercing Hanzo would like. McCree knew exactly what he was talking about, but well he didn’t refuse.

                McCree’s life didn’t get magically better however. He did get his cover-up from Hanzo. It was a beautiful intricate black and grey traditional dragon. He almost knocked Hanzo over with how hard he hugged him. He was incredibly happy to be rid of his connection with Deadlock, but that didn’t mean the nightmares stopped. He was incredibly nervous to let Hanzo into his apartment and stay the night, for fear a nightmare would overtake him and he would hurt Hanzo again. It took weeks before he brought up the courage to invite him over.

                “Howdy, darlin’.” McCree answered the door in a flannel shirt with the first two buttons open and some low-rise jeans that hugged his ass just right.

                “Are you trying to impress me.” Hanzo asked and followed McCree inside.

                “Don’t know. Is it working?” McCree laughed as did Hanzo.

                The set up McCree had in his apartment was romantic for him. He had set up his small dining table with candles and he had some soft jazz playing.

                “Impressive for you, cowboy.” Hanzo leaned up and pecked Jesse on the lips.

                “Well I try.” McCree said and shrugged.

                He pulled out Hanzo’s chair for him and served them both some steak he had made with mashed potatoes and gravy. The centerpiece of the table was some red and white camellias with pink orchids.

                “Is this from your shop?” Hanzo said touching one of the orchids gently.

                “Yeah, where else would it be from?”

                Hanzo laughed, “True. What do they mean?”

                McCree’s eyes lit up, “Well, um…the orchids mean Love and the camellias mean you’re adorable, and you’re a flame in my heart.” McCree blushed.

                Hanzo reached across the table and grasped McCree’s hand, “You’re all those things to me too.” McCree blushed even harder and looked down at his food picking at his plate.

                The two finished dinner rather quickly and went to cuddle on the couch, which eventually led to making out.

                “God, Hanzo you’re amazing.” McCree said breaking off their kiss to star into Hanzo’s eyes.

                “I want you, Jesse. I want to fuck you Jesse.”

                McCree groaned, “I want that too, please Hanzo please!”

                “Where’s your bedroom?” McCree just pointed and lifted him up effortlessly and carried him to the room, carefully laying him down on the bed. McCree wouldn’t quite meet his eyes anymore. “Is everything okay, Jesse?”

                “Yes…no…I just…” Hanzo stroked some hair out of his face. “If I’m being honest I haven’t done this since I got back from…yeah.”

                “That’s quite a long dry spell.” Hanzo said and McCree puffed out a laugh. “If you don’t want to we don’t have to.” Hanzo said laying down next to McCree instead of hovering over him.

                “I…is it horrible if I don’t want to tonight?”

                “No.” Hanzo said incredulously. “I’m not going to break up with you just because you don’t want to have sex. I’m not petty McCree.”

                “What if I’m not ready for a long while?” McCree asked looking at the ceiling.

                “Then I wait until you’re ready.” Hanzo said and shrugged tilting McCree’s head toward him and planting a small kiss on his lips. “You’re perfect Jesse, just because you are not ready for sex yet, doesn’t make you any less worthy of my love.”

                “Thank you honey.” McCree said and reciprocated the kiss. “I…your patience means a lot to me.”

                 “Let’s just go to bed, okay?” Hanzo said and McCree nodded. They both stripped down to their boxers and climbed under the covers. Hanzo laid one more kiss on Jesse’s forehead and curled around him, cuddling him so close.

                When the two woke up the next morning it was as if nothing had happened. Well, nothing bad had happened. Hanzo kissed McCree until he was awake enough to cook breakfast, and after they’d eaten McCree drove them to his shop where Hanzo helped open for a little, since his shop didn’t open till noon. The morning was spent blissfully, with wedding season over, the craziness of the shop had slowed down a lot and McCree was able to pause in his work to lean over and cuddle Hanzo. Lena didn’t have to come in for the next week or so, since her girlfriend was in town for once, and Lucio and Bastion had finals so the morning spent with Hanzo was quiet and calming.

                “Did I ever tell you how much I love you, baby?” McCree said leaning down to give Hanzo a smooch on the lips.

                “Yes…but I can always stand to hear it again.” Hanzo shot back coyly.

                McCree laughed and buried his face in his boyfriend’s neck, giving it a little kiss, “I love you…so much.”

                “I love you as well, Jesse.” And if McCree squealed a bit Hanzo didn’t tell anyone.

                Life was better with Hanzo for McCree. His nightmares after they’re little talk in the bedroom didn’t cease but the intensity definitely lessened. Hanzo began sleeping at his place more and more and it was comforting to wake up to a solid presence. That isn’t to say there weren’t a few mishaps.

                “Jesse! Jesse! Wake up!” Hanzo shook McCree’s shoulders as the man screamed out in his sleep thrashing about and suddenly a fist connected with his face, again. He fell of the bed onto the floor clutching his now bleeding and broken nose. McCree seemed to have woken up by the sharp crunch of bone from the real world and not his dream reality.

                “Fuck, shit, baby, oh my god let’s get you to the hospital.”

                “That would be a good idea.” Hanzo said and grunted as McCree picked him up and helped him into his pants as he held his nose, McCree did the same quickly and then carried Hanzo to his car.

                “Darlin’ you gotta believe me I didn’t mean—“

                Hanzo sighed, “I know Jesse. I should have woken you up sooner.”

                “It’s not your fault, it’s mine for being…” McCree trailed off and didn’t finish his sentence, Hanzo didn’t interject either. They both knew what McCree meant.

                Hanzo nose had stopped bleeding by the time they got to the hospital, but the emergency room was packed, so it was at least two hours of sitting side by side waiting to get a room. After hour one McCree had worked up enough courage to look over, but Hanzo was staring at his phone texting someone. McCree looked down and noticed Hanzo’s bloody hand tapping away on his leg impatiently. Jesse carefully moved his hand over and took Hanzo’s hand and squeezed, drawing Hanzo’s attention.

                “I’m covered in blood, Jesse. Are you sure you want to hold my hand right now?”

                “Not if you don’t want me to.” McCree said almost too quietly for Hanzo to hear over the noise of the emergency room. It hurt his heart to see his cowboy so broken up over this. Hanzo bent down and gave McCree a small kiss on the cheek, careful of his nose and went back to his phone. Hanzo hummed and bumped McCree’s shoulder with his and squeezed his hand back.

                A few minutes later, Genji burst in the doors of the emergency room.

                “What did I tell you, McCree!” He shouted before being shushed by pretty much everyone in the emergency room. Genji stalked his way over to the two of them, causing Hanzo to look up from his phone.

                “I told you not to come. I only texted you to let you know what was going on.”

                “I literally lectured McCree on what would happen if he hurt you again, and what does he do! Break your nose!” Genji’s voice rose in pitch and volume again.

                “Calm down, Genji, and sit down.” Genji huffed and did so. “McCree merely had a nightmare. That is all.”

                “How does a nightmare equal a broken nose!” Genji sounded exasperated and Hanzo merely leveled him with a look that shut him up rather quickly.

                “I really didn’t mean to, honest, Genji. I just…sometimes I can’t tell what’s real in my dreams or reality. I thought I was being attacked.” McCree said quietly.

                “Oh.” Genji said in response. “I have this friend, well he’s my boyfriend, but he’s a therapist. He might be able to help you. He helped me.”

                “I don’t know…” McCree scratched at his beard.

                “Try it.” Hanzo replied, contributing to the conversation. “You will never know if you do not try.”

                “Okay, just for you Hanners.” McCree said and Hanzo chuckled.

                Just then, a nurse called Hanzo’s name and both McCree and Genji followed him back to the room where the nurse set his nose, and cleaned him up. After about an hour, they were on their way home again.

                “I’ll set up an appointment with Zenyatta for you, and text you when it is.” Genji said before running off.

                “I’m very proud of you, you know?” Hanzo said squeezing McCree’s hand.

                “What? Why darlin’.” McCree said surprised.

                “That you accepted help. If I’m being honest I’m not the most qualified to help with your issues. As much as I want to fix you right away, I can’t. It means a lot to me that you’re willing to accept therapy.”

Hanzo smiled up and him and McCree smiled back shyly. “Well, shoot sugar…”

Genji texted him the next week his appointment with Zenyatta, and McCree, with prodding from Hanzo, went and actually made it on time. Turns out, Zenyatta had some idea of what McCree was going through. He came from a worn torn country, where he used to be a monk, and immigrated to the US and became a therapist to help people like himself. The first session was more of a get to know each other session, but as McCree kept going to his appointments, he started to feel better. Not great or cured, but better. After a year of seeing Zenyatta he was now able to wake up from his nightmares without hurting anyone, and even be calm after them. For him it was immense progress. Hanzo was very proud of him as well.

“Are you done with the design yet.” Hanzo asked impatiently.

“Almost done, honeybee.” McCree replied. “There!” He held up the bouquet he’d made for inspection.

                “It’s perfect.” Hanzo breathed out.

                The bouquet was a mix of Aster, Daisies, Gardenias, and Ivy. He had already explained the meanings to Hanzo and it basically was “I love you.”

“You don’t think it’s too extravagant?” McCree asked.

                “Jesse, when are you not extravagant, besides it’s our wedding you’re allowed to be.”

                McCree blushed. “I guess you’re right.”

                “Of course I am, now come down here and kiss me.”

                Jesse McCree chuckled and leaned down kissing Hanzo square on the lips. McCree pulled away, breaking the kiss, and pulled something out from beneath the counter.

                “I have something for you.” Out from under the counter he pulled a flower crown made of Sakura and apple blossoms.

                “You spoil me Jesse.” Hanzo said, smiling, and placing the crown gently on his head.

                “Only the best for my honeybee.” McCree replied kissing Hanzo again.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr: http://noroomforghostsmusic.tumblr.com/
> 
> Comments keep me alive and writing!


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